To The Moon

Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone currently protecting their savings with their lives… buckle up. 

This actually happened to me in January 2025, and I’m still recovering from the whiplash of going from “Is this a date?” to “OMG I’m in an MLM ambush.”

I work in an investment bank in Singapore (yes, the soul-crushing, Excel-until-4 a.m. kind).

 Early Jan, I’m in a client meeting when the client drags along a “friend who’s just here for support.” Let’s call this specimen Calvin. Tall, razor-sharp jawline, tailored shirt hugging exactly the right places, that quiet-danger finance-bro energy. Think Timothée Chalamet crossed with a wolf of Wall Street. I barely registered him during the meeting… until it ended.

He glides over as we’re leaving, flashes the most lethal smile and goes:

“Shernice, right? Holding your own in banking this young? That takes real ambition and an strong mindset.”

Instant ego stroke. We chat for literally three minutes, he asks for my number “for future banking stuff,” and I float out thinking, “Cute. Whatever.”

That SAME NIGHT my phone pings:

“Hey Shernice! Forgot to mention earlier 😅

My boss and I are quietly scaling a crazy-profitable e-commerce business and we’re looking for sharp, high-calibre people to join us. You popped into my head immediately. Coffee next week?”

Ridiculously hot guy calling me high-calibre? My brain short-circuited and typed “Sure!” before common sense could intervene.

His reply came in 0.2 seconds:

“Perfect! Aperia Mall next Friday?”

(No asking where’s convenient. Straight to Aperia. Red flag #1 I ignored because… jawline.)

Friday rolls around. Confession: I changed outfits three times, did a full “professional but hot” look, and practically skipped into the mall. I spot him and my heart does an actual somersault. He stands up, pulls out my chair (who even does that anymore?), locks eyes the entire time, and suddenly I’m wondering if this is a business meeting or the start of a K-drama.

Dinner is 70% flirting disguised as networking. Then he launches into the travel monologue:

“Don’t you just LOVE travelling? Private jets, overwater villas, closing deals from a yacht…”

I laugh, “ I’m happy if I get eight hours of sleep and my bonus. Travel is meh.”

He spends the next twenty minutes trying to sell me on why travel = freedom. I thought he was just a rich wanderlust guy. Spoiler: bait planted.

Dinner ends and he says, “Let’s grab coffee upstairs, I brought something to show you.”

My delusional brain: “He’s going to show me his portfolio… or maybe ask me out.”

I was floating. I was giddy. I was 100% ready to fall in love.

He opens his MacBook and pulls up a glossy slide deck that looks straight out of a VC pitch.

Slide 1: CONSUMER vs PROSUMER

“Consumers lose money. Prosumers own the products they use AND get paid.”

Okay, cool…

Then come the products: air purifiers that cost more than a Birkin, water filters pricier than my car loan, anti-ageing supplements.

I’m sitting there thinking, “Do I really look that haggard that I need reverse-ageing pills? Rude.”

Next slide: “Our world-class supplier partners.”

A carousel of logos… and there it is. AMWAY.

My stomach dropped through the floor. Every MLM horror story I’d ever read flashed before my eyes.

Calvin, still smooth as butter: “Recognise any of these brands?”

Me, playing dumb: “Uh… Amway rings a bell?”

That was it. Every other “partner” vanished into thin air. From that second on it was pure Amway gospel: Nutrilite, Artistry, eSpring, “legacy income,” “diamond lifestyle,” the whole circus.

I finally ask: “So… what exactly would I be doing?”

He tap-dances for five minutes, then snaps (actually annoyed:

“It’s simple. You switch everything you and your family use to our products, then teach your friends and colleagues to do the same.”

Translation: Spend your bonus on $800 shampoo and become the most annoying person in every group chat.

He senses me shutting down and goes full cult-mode:

“Diamond members fly private every year!” (travel bait activated)

“Just join first — you can quit later if you don’t like it!”

“Shernice, millionaires take action before they feel ready.”

I’m too stunned (and, yes, still slightly hypnotised by the face) to run, so when he says, “Our experience centre is literally in this mall, wanna see?” I mumble “okay.”

Three minutes later we’re standing in front of NUTRILITE with a neon sign screaming “Exclusively from Amway.”

Mask = obliterated. Inside is a sea of fresh meat + hungry recruiters and a magic scanner that tells you you’re dying and only $4,000 of vitamins can save you.

He’s still hard-closing: “Joining is only $X and you get vouchers back! Try it, worst case quit!”

(Me doing mental math: instant 60% loss. Hard pass.)

Then an aunty recruiter walks by, sees Calvin failing spectacularly, and cackles: “Wah, still standing around ah?”

Mortifying. Cosmic levels of second-hand embarrassment.

That was my cue. I fake-glance at my watch: “OH MY GOD I totally forgot I have a client dinner, I gotta fly!”

I basically sprinted out of there, heels and dignity barely intact.

He chased me with sample texts and a midnight YouTube link of some guy who “retired at 30 thanks to the business.” I ghosted so hard I should be studied by scientists.

Two months later: “Hey stranger, how’s life?”

Left on read. Forever.

Last month someone else tried the exact same script on LinkedIn. Thanks to Calvin (and therapy), I shut it down in one message.

Shernice’s Official 2025 Amway Survival Guide

Vague “e-commerce mentorship” + won’t name the company = MLM

They pick Aperia Mall = RUN (Amway store inside)

“Prosumer” = stand up and leave

They dig into your dreams early so they can throw them back in your face later

“Just join and quit later” = cult speak

Handsome recruiter is still a recruiter. Do NOT let the jawline make financial decisions for you

Practise your firm “No thank you” in the mirror daily

Moral of the story: Even a Shernice can get played when the bait is six-foot-two with cheekbones that could cut glass. Stay dangerous, stay sceptical, and protect your bonus (and your heart) at all costs.

And yes… he was stupidly, unfairly hot. Doesn’t make the scam any less scammy.

The end. 😂🚩